Herr der Ringe Schlechtes!

Ich seh's vor meinem geistigen Auge schon, eine Disney-Waldidylle, und überall abscheulich niedliche Pelztiere mit großen, ausdrucksvollen Augen:

Dann betritt Jim Carrey, oder alternativ ein abgehalfterter Rapper (Snoop Dogg?) das Bild und brettert los (In der Disney-Version vom HdR ist es ein übergewichtiger Pseudoweihnachtsmann, der von einem der zwei obigen Pfeifen synchronisiert wird. Die deutsche Synchro macht wahrscheinlich Mirco Nontschew:

Tom Bombadil:
Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!

Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! My darling!
Light goes the weather-wind and the feathered starling.
Down along under Hill, shining in the sunlight,
Waiting on the doorstep for the cold starlight,
There my pretty lady is, River-woman's daughter,
Slender as the willow-wand, clearer than the water.
Old Tom Bombadil water-lilies bringing
Comes hopping home again. Can you hear him singing?
Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! and merry-o,
Goldberry, Goldberry, merry yellow berry-o!
Poor old Willow-man, you tuck your roots away!
Tom's in a hurry now. Evening will follow day.
Tom's going home home again water-lilies bringing.
Hey! come derry dol! Can you hear me singing?

Hop along, my little friends, up the Withywindle!
Tom's going on ahead candles for to kindle.
Down west sinks the Sun: soon you will be groping.
When the night-shadows fall, then the door will open,
Out of the window-panes light will twinkle yellow.
Fear no alder black! Heed no hoary willow!
Fear neither root nor bough! Tom goes on before you.
Hey now! merry dol! We'll be waiting for you!

Hey! Come derry dol! Hop along, my hearties!
Hobbits! Ponies all! We are fond of parties.
Now let the fun begin! Let us sing together!

Eine der aufgebrezelten Hollywood-Barbieschlampen betritt die Lichtung, mit perfektem Makeup, perfekten Zähnen und perfekten *MÖÖÖP*s, und bewegt zum Playback die Ti...äh, Lippen.


Goldberry:
Now let the song begin! Let us sing together
Of sun, stars, moon and mist, rain and cloudy weather,
Light on the budding leaf, dew on the feather,
Wind on the open hill, bells on the heather,
Reads by the shady pool, lilies on the water:
Old Tom Bombadil and the River-daughter!

Tom Bombadil:
O slender as a willow-wand! O clearer than clear water!
O reed by the living pool! Fair river-daughter!
O spring-time and summer-time, and spring again after!
O wind on the waterfall, and the leaves' laughter!

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow;
Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow.

(Die Optik ist Programm, denn in dem Aufzug sticht er aus dem Rest der Darsteller heraus wie eine Zwergentunte auf einem Elfenball.)